I have been thinking a lot about how much I depend on them to feel connected to people or to feel good about my life. It's almost like I gauge my self worth based on how many "likes" I get. Every time I do something I consider semi-fun, I post it, as if to show the world that I actually have a life. And I do have a life. I have a great life, but I want to go back to a time when I didn't need other people to also know and "like" my life. I kid myself into thinking that I post so much on social media so I can have some sort of history of my life for my kids and future generations, and honestly, that's why I started on Facebook. I have never been good at journaling, even on my mission, where I had some of the most sacred and amazing experiences and personal growth. I have always loved pictures, and I pride myself on the fact that despite not writing in my journal on my mission much, I finished my mission scrapbook. Pictures have always been easier for me to document.
I don't like how much I rely on social media. I don't like what it's become for me. I enjoy seeing other people's stuff and memories, so I will continue to frequent the sites. I like commenting on people's pictures. I like seeing what they have been up to, but I can't continue to care so much about whether people like my stuff.
I have decided to find a happy medium. I will still document my life for people to follow, but I will do it more through my blog. I will not advertise that I added a new post like I used to. I want to get back to why I started social media in the first place: to document my life for my future posterity. So that is what I am doing. Back to basics. More posts to come. There may not be anyone who reads this, but I will have it for me.
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