Vegas Bridal Shower

Our good friend Jordin Hardy wanted to have her bachelorette party in style. What better place than Vegas!! We hopped in Beyonce(my new car) and went on her very first road trip....Beyonce's not Jordin's. On the way down, I decided it was appropriate to tell Jordin and Stephanie how much I appreciated them, accompanied by an affectionate touch. We decided to take it a level deeper and do an affectionate head touch.

Jordin and Stephanie unknowingly made the exact same face. Must be a blonde nurse thing.

Here is our happy list from the car ride:

I wanted to let Jordin know her passenger seat responsibilities, "Jordin, you're riding commando so you're in charge of the radio."

We stopped for a potty break at some random gas station in Fillmore and Jordin randomly asked Stephanie, "Does your aunt work here?"

I had an old school movie in my head and randomly said, "Johnny 5 alive! No disassemble Johnny 5!

Somehow we started talking about Sister Wive's when I said, "I know one of the sister wives! I was lying on her tramp when I saw the UFO." True Story! I thought I had shared the UFO story, but the momentary silence followed by the sudden burst of laughter communicated very clearly that I had not.

And lastly, but definitely not my favorite, Beyonce almost got in her first car crash! I about blew a gasket at the idiot who didn't chech her blind spot before coming into my lane! Poor Beyonce...so young.

Our luxurious accommodations. Circus Circus. We had joint bedrooms so we could have the most optimal slumber party experience.

The first night there, Jordin, Stephanie, and I were the only ones who had arrived. The second carpool left several hours after us. The sky was the limit. We walked over to the Wynn to see if we could buy Garth Brooks tickets from scalpers. We thought we had it in the bag, except we had no idea how to even locate a scalper....they are a little more subtle than the ones you would typically see at a sporting event or Jazz game. We decided to just stand against the wall and look at everyone as they walked by. As creepy as I'm sure we appeared, it worked. This scary older gentleman walks up to us and says in his scratchy voice, "Are you girls looking for tickets?" I replied, "Yes, do you have some." "Yes, I have ground tickets that usually go for $250 but I can maybe do $175 or $150." At this point, another gentleman walked up behind him and said, "I have tickets too, that I'll sell cheaper if you don't like his price." Realizing that I had my perfect opportunity to show off my haggling skills, I said, "I'll give you $80 a ticket." They both shook their heads and walked away laughing. No Garth for us! :(

So we ate our emotions at the cheapest buffet we could find. It was not the best food.

Jordin is pretty excited about her Balsamic chicken!

And I was pretty excited about my crab leg.So excited that I took the opportunity to feed it to Jordin. Only this doesn't look like crab leg....I guess I just wanted to feed Jordin.

AND....we found a Subaru!! If this comment doesn't make sense, please refer to my previous blog titled, "The Search for the Subaru." That's right!! There were subaru's in Vegas!

Of course, we had to come see the Bellagio water show, "Time to say goodbye paese che non ho mai..."

The following day, we had to make an appearance at the pool. What book is Stephanie reading? "Why Men Marry....What??"

We had to play the traditional dunking game. "Hey guys. We need a subject like favorite cereal, celebrity crush, or something like that?" We can't let Jordin decide because last time she was doing the dunking, and she wanted to Stephanie to name the country in South America that she was thinking of. After 10 minutes of Stephanie naming every country and South America and being repeatedly dunked with every wrong guess, she finally gave up, "I've named every country! What's left?" To which Jordin replied, "Patagonia, silly!" Haha. Never again will Jordin pick the subject. Kelsey decided to help us out with the best suggestion she could think of, "Breeds of Dogs!" Silence. Glances are exchanged. And then bursts of laughter. Thanks Kelsey, we'll pass.
It humors me how much joy I get out of dunking Jordin!

Then we got all dolled up to go out on the town!

Our first stop....Ross Dress For Less. That's right. Don't be jealous! Julia and I had to stop for a picture. I was proud that I bought 2 new shirts.

The whole group in front of the Treasure Island boat: Kelsie, Me, Kelsey, Jordin, Julia, Allison, and Stephanie.

We wanted to make the bachelorette party extra special! What better way than to make matching shirts. Yes, we are cool. We arranged it so we all had to conveniently go to the bathroom at the same time, except Jordin. Jordin found it odd, especially since well just went to the bathroom 5 minutes prior, but this was the only way we could guarantee that she wouldn't go in again with us. We all walked out wearing the shirts. This was her candid reaction.

Here is our super cool shirts. Even the model lady is eyeing us a jealous fashion. You'll get a close up of the shirts later on the blog. I gotta keep you on your toes!

We had some time before the real coyote scene would be happening, so we decided to choose a restaurant. Some unknown source persuaded us to go to the new Cosmopolitan building, so we looked at our choices. One restaurant had a name that sounded like Mexican food, so we decided that you can never go wrong with Mexican food.

Yep, not Mexican food. Have you ever had food delivered to you in a tennis shoe? We have!

Next came the wild part of the night....ok, wild for a bunch of mormon girls who don't drink. Lucky for us, it was ladies night at Coyote Ugly and we didn't have to pay to get in. Matching shirts, one girl in a tiara, not much skin showing, and not drinking.....we fit right in.

Jordin got pulled up on the bar to dance pretty quickly. Kelsey joined her. It was these moves that prompted a guy from England to say to Kelsey, "I was hoping I could squeeze your bum, you could squeeze mine, we could kiss some, and then get outta here." I don't know if those pick-up lines work in England, but they definitely didn't work on Kelsey. Jordin pulled out her disco moves. I'm not quite sure why no one asked to squeeze her bum with moves like those!

The nice bearded man was pretty persistent to get Julia and I up on the bar.

Julia couldn't resist pulling out her ballroom moves.
I like to keep it at home with the fist pump. Thank you Jersey Shore!

Here's a close up of the shirt! Jordin's is the only one that says "I Do."

Charlie Brown and Snoopy learned the affectionate head touch from Jordin and myself.

We also went and saw a cirque de soliel show, Mystere! So cool!!!

I couldn't resist get a shapshot of this sassy body language!
Thus ended our Vegas bachelorette experience! I can now mark: danced on the bar at Coyote Ugly, wore matching t-shirts, and ate out of a tennis shoe off my bucket list! Thanks Jordin!

Jackson Hole

My church ward decided to take us to Jackson Hole for some camping and river rafting. We woke up Saturday morning and we were on the road by 7 AM...okay, 7:30 AM. Who were we kidding? That's dang early!! After 3+ hours of driving and me telling Julia, "You're not allowed to read so you can keep me awake," we arrived in Jackson Hole. Before we got on the raft, Stephanie tried to keep us hydrated...because hydration is key.

And Julia had a little accident with her pen. Good thing she would fall out of the raft several times so the ink could wash off.

We tried to put on our brave faces before the "lunch counter" or "mother-in-law" could get us!

After a fairly lengthy tutorial on rafting safety, we were ready to go! "Never stop rowing!" This would come into play many times as the left side (the cool side) and the right side would try to place blame on the other for falling behind.

At one point, a couple of us stood at the top of the raft to see how good our balance was. Well, I didn't even make it to full stand up position before my foot slipped and gave Stephanie a wake up call to her crotch (am I allowed to say that?) I feel pretty bad but can't help laughing. Hence, the hand to the mouth trying to cover my laugh.

I finally made it on top of the raft. Can you see everyone looking at me and just wondering when I will fall. Notice Robert (the guy to the front left) had his legs clenched tightly together. He wasn't going to take any chances.

You can't tell very well, but at this point, everyone was rowing in a way that makes the raft turn in circles. Notice my center of gravity is slightly lower this picture.

And I'm wet because I finally fell in. Posing with Jordin and Stephanie. How's your crotch feeling, Steph?

Julia, some girl I don't remember, Hiedi, Kevin, and Todd also posed for a picture.

We survived the river rafting, with only 3/4 of our raft falling in at one point, including our guide, Kevin. That lunch counter is brutal. I wish I could post the pictures taken by the companies who take your picture over the rapids, but I'm too frugal.

The rest of the trip was good. We had a barbeque, sat around the campfire and talked. Julia and I tried to share a twin air mattress for the 2nd year in a row, this time not as successful for me. We went to Jenny lake the following morning and hiked to Inspiration point. Don't we look inspired?

Yeah, probably not! Because we never actually made it to Inspiration point. We didn't have enough time before we had to turn around and make it back to SLC. This is what "almost made it to inspiration point" looks like:

We even took the ferre back to save on time. Julia, myself, and Aubrei posing for a picture.

We made it home safely and with only minimal battle wounds. What's not to love about Jackson Hole!!