For those who of you have known me several years, or just know me a little bit, know that I used to be a social worker and absolutely loved and treasure the moments I had being one!! It's a tricky field. Most people go into it because they care about people and want to help, but once you are actually in the field, you see the balancing act it requires to care about people but not care too much...it's just too hard. My last day working at the House of Hope was a very sad day! I have only felt that depth of sadness one other time in my life: coming home from my mission. It's a feeling of gratitude for who I became through my experiences there, and a feeling of deep sadness knowing that all these amazing people who influenced me so much, and sometimes drove me absolutely crazy, will no longer a part of my every day life. I'm sure you're wondering right now if I'm referring to my co-workers or my clients? LOL Both are applicable. :)
My life has been amazing since leaving the House of Hope, but I get very excited to attend the alumni events that give me the opportunity to go back and see my old co-workers and clients. 3 times a year there is an event: Alumni Tea in spring, Summer BBQ, and Christmas party. April 20, yes 4/20, the clients got a kick out of that coincidence, was the Alumni Tea. It was so good to see everyone. Sadly, every event, I see less and less familiar faces. In recovery, there is a 90% relapse rate, which means that 90% of my clients will stop coming around for support. I pray for them wherever they are.
There were some memorable moments from the Tea that I would like to recap. First, the House of Hope created a choir a couple years ago. It comprises of current clients who would like to sing at the Tea. While they are better that I am at singing, they are not experts. :) They started off by singing Glee's version of "Don't Stop Believing." There were a couple high notes that when attempted got a neck scrunching, face squinting reaction from everyone there, which was immediately followed by a big grin of appreciation and adoration for the girls brave enough to perform in front of everyone!
There were several alumni speakers who shared their stories. All of them full of sadness, hardship, bad choices, and the courage to overcome! Such strong women! Most had childhoods that were far from opportune, but all of them had the strength to eventually take a stand and determine their own fates.
There were also a couple of my old co-workers who spoke. One of my close friends Lori shared a comparison she thought of earlier. Very clever. She said that recovery is a lot like the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy is like each client who is just trying to find their way back home. Through the journey, they have the help of munchkins and Glinda the good (all the House of Hope workers). You meet new friends who, like you, have lost courage, hope, sense, and the ability to love wholly. You have a yellow brick road that will always help and lead you to where you need to go (all the tools you learn). You also have the Wicked Witch, who according to Lori, represents the addiction and disease. You can always tell those who are "Wicked" fans because we all immediately get defensive, "She was misunderstood!" But this isn't about that. It's about appreciating the analogy that was being presented, so I re-focused myself and listened to the rest. There were also the flying monkeys who represent all your past choices and demons trying to bring you down. Finally, they get to the great Oz, who is represented by our director Lisa. She and Lori are notorious for jokingly going back and forth with one another about different jokes. All Dorothy had to do was click her ruby red slippers while saying, "There's no place like home." Simple solution. Recovery is like the simple, everyday choices.
The House of Hope choir sang Garth Brooks', "If tomorrow never comes." There wasn't a dry eye in the place. That song brings to reality the fear that every person has. To the addict, it asks: Are the bad choices I'm making going to end my life and take away my chance to tell my loved ones how much I care about them?
Lisa, the director, also got up and spoke. She is so funny that I can't even do her speech justice. Such dry humor but constantly throwing sarcastic jokes out. She shared some story about a Turkey in a farmyard. I can't even do it justice but it was hilarious. Something about a turkey that wanted to fly away like the other birds but didn't think it could. It didn't have a beautiful long wing span like the others. She said that some farmers who were smart because they had MSW degrees came along and helped the turkey learn to fly. It was much more funny and a bit longer. I wish I had a tape recorder for all the stories. So clever.
The most touching part for me was when Lisa was telling the story of the woman who founded the Utah Alcoholism Foundation, which later became the House of Hope. Marie Gooderham. She and her husband were the first to create a recovery organization that was unique to women alone. Lisa told us stories she researched about Marie. All of them selfless and serving. We had a guest speaker who personally knew Marie. Marie passed away in 2006. The guest speaker shared more stories and experiences about many people Marie and her husband helped, but the thing that resonated with me was when the speaker said that every time someone would come to Marie to seek help, Marie's first response to them was always the same, "You're in the right place. I'm so glad you're here." It made me think about how I react to opportunities to help others. Do I always welcome them with open arms and say, "You're in the right place. I'm so glad you're here." This statement is a double-edged sword. It comes with two questions every person must ask themselves. First, am I truly glad I have this opportunity to serve someone else, when it's so easy to stay in our own selfish little worlds? Second, do I have the confidence to think that my love and support is going to suffice? I'm sure Marie had her insecurities and own trials. We all do. But she made helping and serving others her lifestyle. She was a remarkable woman who created a legacy of support to all addicts in Utah.
As always, I left the event feeling rejuvenated and strengthened. There are so many amazing people out there, some whose trials and weaknesses are more apparent than others, but we all have each other for strength and support. I love the House of Hope and all the amazing people associated with it. I can't wait for the next alumni event!
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